Eddie Murphy
September 8th 2008 09:48
I don't care what anybody says, Eddie Murphy was the funniest thing the 80's had.
I don't care that he had to swear heaps, I don't care that sometimes he completely ripped off Richard Pryor, and I don't care that he allegedly picked up a tranny hooker and that he now makes lame movies.
He is, in fact, the highest grossing movie star of all time - believe it or not.
He first came around on SNL and then onto the big screen with 48 Hours, which included his classic Roxanne scene.
But that was nothing once Delirious hit.
Seriously - that is the funniest thing that has ever been put to film.
And Raw comes a close second.
They were so good that I'm just going to list some choice lines from both videos and leave it at that.
(To keep it Orble friendly, I left out a lot of lines...but, you get the point.)
_____________________________
Hey boy, hey boy! Ya look mighty cute in them jeans.
They're filming a movie up in here and y'all gonna be in it! - Only I'm the only one gonna get paid!
Eddiiieee! What have you done for me lately?
Your wife's a Bigfoot, isn't she, Gus? Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn't she? That's why the bitch's mustache is so thick!
Don't bring a Bigfoot into my home, Gus! With my children!
Now that's a fire!
We're not cooking brontosaurus burgers, here, Gus!
You got no ice cream, you got no ice cream, you got no ice cream, you didn't gt none, 'cause you are on the welfare, on the welfare...and you daddy's an alcoholic.
Want some?...Psych!
How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance. "Hey baby lets dance... cya later"
I have nightmares about gay people. I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood, and find out Mr. T is a faggot.
I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling!
Now, a brother's dick is too big, so it'll stuffs up his balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled.
And ladies like sex just as much as we do, guys, but they act like they don't. But they do. There's not a woman in this room that wouldn't rather be somewhere else with a nice stiff one in them.
Don't you let them fool you. They like it just as much as us.
See, ladies sitting there going:
"That's true. He's funny, but he's not that funny. I'll take a dick over a smile any day.
Yes, I will."
You didn't make love -it just felt real good. You know why?
Because you waited five months for it!
If you're starving and somebody throw you a cracker, you gonna be like this:
"Goddamn, that's the best cracker I ever ate in my life! That ain't no regular cracker, was it?
What was that, a Saltine? Goddamn, that was delicious.
God, that was the best cracker I ever ate in my life.
Can I have another one, please? Please, one more."
Eddie doing Michael Jackson - before people did Michael Jackson
Next time we'll actually talk about his feature films...and his short lived music career!
'Goony-Goo-Goo!'
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Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Comment by Ken John
I flippin love this shit!
Man, I haven't heard about that video for years.
Funniest 90 minutes ever made.
'He popped his head up from the water, looked at his brother and said...goony goo goo!'
Comment by Gabba gabba hey
Murphy my boy! Love all his old stuff.
Comin to america, trading places, bhc, harlem nights, even the golden child!
I love Raw.
Too good.