Picking Up the Pieces after Divorce


Divorces are never easy on anyone involved. They can be messy and bring out the worst in the people involved. It’s a rare occasion when a divorce happens amicably and the people involved end their marriage on good terms. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish a divorce on my worst enemy. No matter how long you’ve been with your ex, you are going to go through a rough transition period. Here are some tips on getting though the post-divorce period.


Remember That It’s Okay to Mourn


You were married to someone who you thought was the end all be all relationship for you. It’s okay to mourn the ending of that relationship. No matter how it ended and who ended it, it’s going to take some time getting used to that other person no longer being a constant role in your life. You may go over the entire relationship in your head trying to think of what went wrong, but you have to remember not to place blame where there is none. Sometimes people just grow apart. No matter the case, take time to feel remorse and reflect.


Realize That It Is Okay To Be Alone


You just got out of a very serious relationship. You are in an emotional state and you may not be ready to date again. This is perfectly okay. In fact, you may even want to remain single for a while. Being alone doesn’t mean that you turn into an anti-social hermit; it just means that you are learning to enjoy your own company and learning how to be single again after such a serious relationship. This is a perfect time to find yourself.


Take Time to Find Yourself


Marriage and relationships have a habit of changing people and it isn’t always for the better. Both a marriage and a divorce are life changing events. It’s safe to say that you won’t be the same person you were before you got married. Take some time once the divorce is finalized to rediscover who you used to be. You may want to get in touch with friends that you hadn’t talked to in a while. You may want to pick up a hobby that you used to enjoy. You can also use this time to discover new things about yourself. Maybe you wanted to pick up a completely new hobby that you’ve never tried before. You may want to change careers or take some classes in things that interest you. The possibilities are limitless during this time.


When you’re Ready, Test the Waters and Date Again


After you’ve taken the time that you need to mourn the divorce and rediscover yourself, maybe it’s time you try dating again. You may not want to jump right into a serious relationship (I don’t really recommend that anyway), it is okay to date. Instead of dating the usual type of person that you go for, try expanding your options and date someone new. Instead of going for the athlete, try dating the artist. You may be surprised at the chemistry that may be there.


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